PHI-NOMENAL.

Phi-Phi's a bitttt of a haze but i think from the state of my face/bod/everything I ever owned/dignity it's safe to say we found a party. There's no journal entries to guide me as to what occurred on Phi-Phi but what I do have is a list of all the - I presume lovely, though some nicknames beg to differ - people we encountered. Decide for yourself if you think we liked them...

ZephandSammy
Clam Eyes
Rom Com
Remco aka I Can't Rememco
Goggle Eyes and Angry
Policeman
Tampon Mark (don't ask, it's not ok)
Schnaggle Tooth
Boulderhead
Badger
Toad Irish
Tom Daley
Preston
Marshall Mathers
Beardface
Eyebrows
Model Jimmy
Sock Arms
Rapist
Colin (seems important; have we remembered his real name?)
Sneery French aka Cyril Sneer
Milk Teats
Tampon Smoker
and one chap who's name can only be expressed by pulling this face

Safe to say all roads on Phi Phi lead down the beach to Slinky via three buckets of Sangsom. If you ever find yourself on this island, you will find yourself on the beach at Slinky, you will be off your head, you will be having the best time of your life, you will be convinced that every man, with their Primark women's vests and glowing body paint is a megbabe (like a moth to a flame baby), you will certainly be listening to these two songs and YOU WILL KNOW that they are the most significant, most deeply effecting songs you have ever known. Fuck Justin Vernon. 

KID CUDI - PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS (STEVE AOKI MIX, WHICH ELSE?)

ASAF AVIDAN - ONE DAY / RECKONING SONG (WANKELMUT REMIX) 

Spend over a week on Phi Phi and you have outstayed your welcome. When, after a particularly raucous evening, you stagger out of your hostel room in the morn delighted to have even made it home, and thirty people you're never seen before in all your days burst into spontaneous applause for whatever you did when you went to brush your teeth as the sun was coming up.... you know it's time to leave the island. 

That, and take a bow.